Monday morning, I’m blissfully snoozing my alarm clock when the phone rings. My first thought was that perhaps I’d overslept to the point that work was calling me to see where I was. When I discovered it was merely 7am, that thought dissipated and was replaced with one of much more concern; maybe something is wrong.
I hopped out of bed and dashed to the phone, trying desperately to get the sleep out of my voice so that the person on the other end didn’t know they had woken me from my deep slumber (why do we do that anyway?).
Caller: Hey – is this CSPAN?
TWG: Sorry – wrong number (also, why do we do that??)
TWG: Wrong number…!
Caller: The fucking city is wrong!!!!
Caller: 411 doesn’t fucking work!!!!!
Caller: Fuck you, you information bitch!!!!!!!
TWG: …. ….
Caller: Go to hell, you dumb fucking cunt!!!!!
*end scene* (literally)
And that’s how I started my day. It’s bound to be a good one.