Saturday, October 27, 2012

Adventures in online dating–part 1

Alright… just because you guys seem to like this so much and because, quite frankly, I’m getting so much ammunition I don’t know what to do with it all, here’s a couple examples of what I’ve been dealing with lately.


Guy#1 – emailed me and wants to chat. We go back and forth a few times over the course of a week or so. His spelling is like a text message from a 13 year old girl, but I decided not to hold that against him. He also doesn’t believe in any punctuation whatsoever. This is becoming more and more commonplace, so again, I decided not to judge him on it.

He asked if I text and suggested we do that instead of emailing because it’s “easier”. (Yeah, full keyboards suck). I gave him my number and didn’t hear from him. He emailed me and said that his phone acts up and doesn’t always send/receive texts. He suggested I test it out. Suddenly he’s able to send and receive texts with lightening speed.

While texting I asked him what he was up to. He said “nm goin for a night swim”. I asked where, he responded with Coquitlam Centre. I said “In the mall?? Smile with tongue out“ and he said “no aquatic centre”.

Seriously? He doesn’t get that I was joking? Does he have no sense of humour? At all?? Yeah… I’ll judge him on that one, for sure.

So, he sends me a text the other day, here’s how our “conversation” went. And I use that term really loosely. (Note: things in asterisks did not make it into my text, it’s just what I did when I received his)

Him: Sup

Me: *roll eyes* Not much… how about you?

Him: nm sup

Me: *what the fuck face* Not much. You?

Him: lol



This is definitely the most-used illustration in my online dating posts. Speaks volumes.


Guy#2 – Roughly 4 years my junior. But age is just a number, right? So I emailed him and he responds to my email with this:

… sorry to put it bluntly my intentions on here are for meeting someone younger than myself. This helps to cover any maturity differentials and lesses the risk of dating someone with severe baggage.

What the fuck?? Well thanks for letting me down easy instead of being one of those guys that just doesn’t respond. Yikes.


Also… I’ve had multiple guys ask me if I have facebook. Do they realize that FB involves real life things, like my last name and place of work? Do they realize that POF only lists the city I live in and I’m perfectly okay with that? And why is it that they get all offended when I say, yes, I do have facebook, but you’re a stranger so I’m not sending you my info?


  1. keep the crazy of online dating at a full arm's length away! "hi i met you on a free website that anyone can post on can i have your real name phone number address and facebook so i can also see who your friends are???!!"

  2. Anyone who asks you "sup" 2 times in a row fits the legal definition of mental retardation.

    Also, speaking of that Facebook thing, I once was on POF and met a chick who was crazy. Like, mentally insane. She liked when guys choked her with a belt until she blacked out unconscious. I never met her in person, and I didn't want to, so I blocked her and left POF. 3 months later she found me on Facebook (I never gave her my last name) and said it was destiny. I don't want to know how many Bryans she was weeding through just to find me. 3 months' worth, apparently.

  3. Anna - I'll try! :)

    Anon - two arm lengths away is much safer! Glad you agree though...

    Beer - wow. That's impressive. In a very, very scary way.

  4. "Lesses the odds of severe baggage."

    Seriously, wtf ?!? O.o


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