Saturday, February 15, 2014

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Here’s my version of a Valentine’s Day post. Enjoy!

Being chronically single, there are definitely times where I really yearn to be with someone and then there are times where I’m thankful for being alone. I’m sure the same can be said for people who are in relationships as well.

For me, both of these extremes become very apparent when I’m sick. I spent the better part of this week sick at home, so it became very clear in my mind just how much (and how quickly) I can flip flop on this particular subject.

For example, when I was at home laying on the couch wishing for death, the only thing that could make it more bearable was some juice, or soup, or something. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to have someone come and take care of me.

That White Girl - sick - fridge too freaking far

I was too sick to fend for myself. This actually happens more than I care to admit. There have been so many instances that I’ve developed a coping mechanism. I don’t like to drink juice full strength; I like to water it down. It’s easier on the stomach, if that’s not doing so great.

So I set up shop on the couch; I grab my tetrapak of juice out of the fridge, a glass and fill up a 1L container of water. I bring all the things to the couch and fill up my glass as I need. I do need to get up from time to time to refill my water, but much less than if I actually had to fill my cup up every time. In fact, if I invested in a larger measuring cup, I could reduce those trips down even further. Food for thought.

I’m still pretty much fucked if I need to get something to eat, but let’s just say, I got reserves.

That White Girl - sick - starve myself because my ass has all kinds of reserves

On the other hand, when I’m disgustingly sick and things are coming out of places that no one needs to see, I’m fairly happy that I live alone.

That White Girl - sick - sweep shit under the rug and deal with it later, even if it's puke

But those instances are usually few and far between, besides realistically, the person I’m with better be okay with holding my hair back and cleaning up some puke when I miss the toilet. Or the bathroom altogether.

That White Girl - sick - thanks for cleaning up my puke

But nothing makes it hit home quite like it did the other night. I was very sick; in a lot of pain, had a pretty bad fever and a terrible cough. Plus I was covered in hives (an unrelated, yet agonizing, matter).

Even though I drugged myself up to “get a good nights’ sleep”, I still woke up constantly with scratching or coughing. Or alternating between kicking the blankets off and then scrambling to get them back on because I was shivering. And if that wasn’t enough, rolling over caused enough pain from my massive body aches (and probably hives) that I actually groaned audibly.

My first thought was that I hoped my upstairs people couldn’t hear me and/or weren’t being woken up by my agony. My next thought went to what it would actually be like if I was in a relationship; what if I was sharing my bed with someone. Times like these, I know one thing is certain.

That White Girl - sick - separate bed and separate room couples

Meh – small price to pay to have someone bring me soup, right?


  1. Oh man I hope you are feeling better! I have Ulcerative Colitis and when it hits I am glad I am one should have listen to this.

  2. Is that one drawing a depiction of you blasting ass all over the ground then covering it up with newspapers? Or even vomit? That's not just a reason for you to be single, that's a big reason why you're single. Holy lord, keep a bucket nearby.
    The only reason it's good to be coupled when you're sick is to have someone go fetch things you need from the store.

  3. someone should provide a sick person care company, and then sickos can get soup and stuff delivered by people wearing masks and gloves.

  4. Poke - thanks - I'm starting to!

    Pickleope - yes, that's exactly what the picture is. But, calm down, that never happened! Sometimes I exaggerate things for comic effect.

    Anon - agreed - start it up!!

  5. I was sick last week too, and having someone else with me didn't make it any better. Why? Because she's the one who got me sick in the first place. So BOTH of us were crawling around like infants, miserable out of our minds, and neither of us had the energy to help one another. If anything, being a couple in that instance was probably worse. I think you had the better end of things toughing this out alone.

  6. Oh that *was* newspaper in your drawing. I was hoping I just didn't understand =/.

  7. Beer - you're right - I focused far too heavily on my "I don't have any soup" predicament. It definitely could be a lot worse.

    Gorm - nope. You got it. :(


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