Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Adventures in online dating: Part - Oh… I get it…

I found this in my drafts – I wrote it several months back, but since I’m chronically single, it still applies.

Hooray for being timeless.

thatwhitegirls - internet dating - i suck at this - FML

I think I’ve finally figured out a reason, if not the reason, why I’m still single. Meh – who am I kidding there’s clearly a laundry list of reasons…

thatwhitegirls - internet dating - baggage on wheels

You know the dating technique where you trick someone into liking you by being not yourself and then dole out your true self in single-bite-size-servings so that, given enough time, you eventually become yourself, but it was done so gradually that the person you’re with didn’t realize just how weird/crazy/needy/sarcastic/(insert undesirable trait here) you really are until it was too late and they already like you and have already come to accept your character flaws?

thatwhitegirls - internet dating - i usually tell the truth from the beginning, now wonder I'm single

Turns out that may be a problem, if not the problem, with … … well... me. I think that honesty is the best policy.

thatwhitegirls - internet dating - rookies tell the truth

Allow me to explain my most recent epic fail. *Update – since this is not so recent anymore, I’m sure there’s more to come… Who am I kidding, I have some in reserves.

Although, my POF account is hidden and I’m not showing up in the general populations’ searches, I do log on, view profiles and email people. Not super frequently, but often enough.

I did this recently and started chatting with an attractive young man, who coincidentally enough, shares the same, uncommon (in the western world at least), name as Thailand. We’ll call him Thailand 2.0, or Thai2 for short.

I decided not to hold this against him, even though, more often than not, I cringe when I meet a prospect with the same name as my ex. Or my brother. Or my father. Sorry – but I got a thing with names!

So we start doing the whole email exchange thing. Back and forth for an hour or so every night. This lasted a few nights when one day Thai2 asked me what I was doing. I said I was at home, relaxing, doing some writing.

Something no one ever does is ask what exactly I’m writing. He does. I explain that I was writing some “short stories”; he asked what kind.

thatwhitegirls - internet dating - I have a blog

Something no one ever does is ask for my blog address. He does.

I wanted to discourage him, but I didn’t know what to say. My first thought was “No – I only share this with really good friends, or complete strangers and you’re too in between” which seemed like a ridiculous thing to say out loud. I settled with  “I don’t know about that…..” He sent me his website in exchange, so I sent him mine with a “don’t judge me!” disclaimer. He said he wouldn’t.

His website is themed around wine and is very professional and appropriate. And…  yeah… you’ve seen mine. A little while later, he asked who does my “artwork”.

thatwhitegirls - internet dating - artwork it's cute that you call it that

A little while after that, he pointed out a specific post he liked. A post that was quite old. A post that happens to be in my “top posts based on nothing list”. I looked at the random list and hoped he wasn’t working his way down.

Let’s just say that list of posts has some… …  unsavory links. Links that my readers and friends enjoy, but maybe don’t portray me in the best light. That maybe aren’t super becoming of me. Or worse yet, are exactly as becoming of me.

He must have found them because he stopped replying to my emails. I should’ve known he was judging me. Better sooner rather than later, though, right?



  1. Don't ever hook up with a blog reader, in my opinion. They always end up disappointed that you're either too much or too little like your blog persona. I'd say you dodged a bullet there.

  2. It's not just you, I find it super creepy to date someone with the same name as someone I'm related to. It almost screwed up my relationship with my spouse (before we were married) whose middle name is the same as my mother's first name. The second thing that almost messed up my relationship was allowing my spouse to read my blog. Bad idea. Of course that person is going to judge you.

  3. You have a blog??!!

  4. Heh, it IS interesting to see what comprises your best posts. Glad to see the Scarlet Fever one is on there.

    And on a less sadistic / more humourous side, glad that mashed potatoes is on there.

  5. It is OK, there are more of you out here. I do the same thing. i am full on crazy, I can't hide my character flaws...I am a whole damn character flaw...forever single. I even got the cat now!

  6. I say "right." It's better for something to be over quickly rather than to let it drag on.


  7. If someone on the internet is talking to you a lot and then finds your blog and is reading happily along and then suddenly stops talking to you, that's one of those things that makes you say "what the hell just happened?" Beyond that, what can you do? He may be gone for a week somewhere or something and reappear later. I don't know. But I have been doing this blogging thing long enough that I've grown accustomed to people suddenly disappearing because they apparently don't like one thing I said 5 years ago or disappearing for no apparent reason at all. That's one of the problems with the internet - you have no idea what's going on in that person's daily life that might cause them to drop off the face of the earth. I once emailed The Stig (I'm not making this up) because he disappeared from all of his internet accounts for about 6 months and I began to think that maybe he died in a racing crash I hadn't heard about. Turns out he was just busy and very much alive and well. And I got an email from The Stig as a bonus for my trouble. But that's how the internet is. It's just impossible to know what's going on at the other end and too easy to tie yourself in knots trying to figure out what happened.

  8. My parents don't even know I run a blog. I don't know what I'd do if I was in the dating pool again. Especially if a prospective date took the initiative to google me and my incredibly unique name. "Oh look, here's a cartoon of the guy I'm dating ripping his pants while doing a squat. In another one, he's projectile vomiting! Super hot!"

  9. Icy - then I'll think of it that way too!

    Pickleope - then I'll stick with my name phobia and keeping this life secret!

    Anon - I do. But sice I don't know who *you* are, I'm not sure if I'm the "you" you're talking about. Wow, that got complicated. Leave your name next time, will ya?

    Gorm - pretty sure the mashed potatoes one is on there for you!

    Poke - no cat yet, but good on you for embracing it!

    Beans - ain't that the truth!

    Steve - honestly, I didn't put that much thought into it. But definitely see your point!

    Beer - I showed my mom my blog once. She said "Oh, yeah, that's cute" and we never talked about it again. Pretty sure she's forgotten all about it. Also, I guess I'm lucky I have a very generic name, and a fairly well known local person eating up all potential googling to protect me from that.


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