Why did you go camping in your storage room?

I came to the realization a while back that I am, quite possibly, the worst blogger ever. Not only because I can go weeks without posting and then try to make up for it by posting multiple times a week and/or day, but also because if you read the self-help books on how to blog, I'm doing it all wrong. Also, I insult my audience (you fuckers).

I knew all along that I wasn't doing this blogging thing right and in the beginning I didn't really care, but the more I do it, the more I realize that if I'm going to do it, I might as well do it right. I try to live my life by not doing things half-assed and yet here I am, the half-assed blogging queen.

In the past few months I've tried to pull up my socks and be better and I think I have been, but there are still a number of areas where I fail miserably.

Things bloggers do to get readers:

Tell their friends/family about the blog and follow up to make sure they're reading. I have many people in my life that do not know that I blog at all. People that I would be slightly embarrassed to admit this to. And the people that I have told, I typically don't follow up with them.

Promote their blog on their social networks. To this day, I have not had a facebook update relating to my blog. I have set up a facebook page, but I didn't advertise that on my personal profile either. I don't know what's wrong with me. Honestly.

Comment on other people's blogs. Up until a couple of months ago I was more of the "long time listener, first time caller" kind of internet user. I've since come to terms with it and have started leaving comments on ramdon people's blogs. Because, you know what, if I'm reading it, I might as well tell them what I think about it.  After all, I'm just another ramdon person on the internet!

Have a catchy name that people will remember. Okay, I just made that one up. I just wanted to accomplish another one of these points. But seriously, I think it makes sense, that way people that don't know you are able to remember the name.

Categorize & tag items in the posts so search engines find you. I went the first 6 months of blogging under "uncategorized" because I didn't know how to make categories, or what they were used for. I've since learned a bit about these things and now have a ba-zillion categories to choose from. I still don't know how to 'tag' though.

Post/handout advertisements so people in real life see them. Seriously? Do some people make business cards and hand them out to the people in front of them in the Starbucks lineup? I'm not sure I can do that. I'll consider this one once I've whored myself out to all my family and friends.

I'm sure there's about a million other tips & tidbits, but that would require me doing research and I don't feel like it. That's how good of a blogger I am. Oh boy. Good thing I've already started trying to be better. Yeesh. I suppose now I just gotta try harder.

I just remembered another point:

Ask your friends/family/readers to tell their friends/family/readers. Okay guys - this one is on you... get at 'er!! :)

On another note, a real human being liked one of my posts today (you know, as opposed to a spam-bot). My first real post under my first real name... Coincidence? I think not.