Don’t fear the Reaper

You might remember my series of posts about Windows 7 ruining my life. If not, that’s okay, you don’t have to read them. Just know that there were a lot of them because I was angry and bitter (which is a bad combination when you have a blog).

The gist of the issue was that I was unable to record music in real time on a brand new laptop because of latency problem associated with Windows 7. I returned the laptop and several months later, returned to the store and purchased it again, content with the fact that I would keep my suffocatingly slow desktop for my music projects.

In that time, because I was never really content, I tried different interfaces and work-arounds but nothing seemed to work. One day, I had my friend Brian over and we ended up messing about on my desktop for recording. We ended up installing a better program called Reaper and then it promptly lost all recording capabilities.

We quickly uninstalled the “better” program and restored everything to it’s previous functioning state.

A few weeks later, I brought my laptop over to Brian’s house in order to figure out the recording issue once and for all. He suggested installing Reaper. Even though this would have been immediately rejected had he suggested it at my house a couple weeks earlier, I accepted his suggestion because the worst that could happen was that I still wouldn’t be able to record music on my laptop.

After a quick installation and a quick plug in of a microphone, we did a test.

I was recording in real time. I had to pick my jaw up off the floor. I was astounded that it could be so easy when it had caused so much strife over the years. Seriously years. It’s been nearly 3 years.

So, what changed? In order to try and make a certain interface work, I had installed a generic audio driver, ASIO4all. As the name suggests it’s supposed to be compatible with everything.

Reaper is a more advanced recording program than the program I was previously using, Audacity, and has the ability to select different drivers for the program to function. Instead of selecting the audio driver in my computer (the one that causes the blasted latency issue I loathe), I selected ASIO. And it fixed all my problems.

Well, all my problems relating to recording on my laptop anyway…

There are children pleasant!

So, my desktop computer is dying a slow, painful death. I've been fairly convinced that it's on its last legs for roughly 2 years. But now, I'm really sure that it's going to die. I will, once again, start backing up my files.

Reasons I believe my computer is going to die:

1. It's running really slow and no amount of maintenance is speeding things up.


2. It decided that it no longer had Excel installed on it. All I had to do was pop in the MS Office disc for 37 seconds (not install it, just put the disc in) in order for it to realize that it does in fact have Excel.


3. It can take as long as 13 minutes to restart my computer and be able to do things again.


4. It stalls on the stupidest tasks... like opening a folder. It's not even a hidden folder, or tricky in some way. It's a folder on my desktop. It's been there forever.

Reasons it will be really sad if my computer dies tomorrow:

1. I have to ship my laptop back to Toshiba for a new hard-drive and won't get it back for two weeks. I would be without internet for two weeks. *gasp*


2. My laptop is incapable of recording music and I like to, so it doesn't really work for me.


3. A new desktop would also be incapable of recording music (thanks Windows 7), so this dinosaur is my only hope of recording in real time.


4. I haven't backed up my files and probably won't tonight.


5. All my favorites, shortcuts, and in progress projects will be lost (see point 4).

As you can see, the death of my computer would be very sad indeed although not unexpected.

Windows 7 has officially ruined my life (part 5)

I got my $600 back.

~end scene~

Windows 7 has officially ruined my life (part 4)

Okay, so this isn't exactly the next post I had it mind, but I had to go with it.

I dropped my computer off with Anna on Tuesday of last week so her husband could take a look and work his magic. Anna updated me and said that the "virtual machine" isn't working and it's still doing "it". And by "it" I/she/ means recording "out of time" (and I'm not talking REM).

Ever since I dropped the thing off, I've convinced myself that there isn't actually a problem with the computer. I'm just too picky. I just have to come to terms with the fact that (while recording) it may be a millisecond or 500 off.

In order to truely justify my feelings towards the computer/operating system/soundcard, I figured I had to do a trial run. I had to test it out. (yes, yes, I am a scientist)... So, I plugged in my recording unit to my brand-new Toshiba laptop. The delay was slightly crazy, but not "Whoa.... what's going on" kind of crazy"... So I started to think that "the problem" is something I could actually work with. So it's true... I am unreasonable.

And then I plugged it into my desktop (which is an old, old, Acer, that has many, many, processing issues)... and when I tested it out.... I could hear myself AS I SPOKE! This equals "real-time", people.

For awhile there, I thought I was too picky. Maybe I didn't need real-time recording. Maybe I was being unreasonable. This test really cemented my belief ... and that belief is Windows 7 sucks.

Or else all laptops suck... but I don't think that's the case. In fact, I'm $400 away from buying a Mac. And even though some people say "Noooooo..... Mac's are evil!" I think I should save up a bit of dough and buy myself a MacBook... because the Lard knows I won't have recording issues with that bad-boy.

Windows 7 has officially ruined my life (part 3)

Alright... so The Husband managed to get XP installed as a "virtual machine" (Thank-You!!). This is apparently the $200 option BestBuy offered me. It still doesn't work.

The latest theory is that it's the soundcard and not the operating system. To me, that's neither here nor there, because the bastard is going back.

Will be going to BestBuy today or tomorrow and will update as necessary. "I got my $600 back" isn't much of an update, but I didn't think buying a new computer would warrant 4 posts either, so I think we all learned something: Nothing is easy. If you've managed to convince yourself otherwise, you will be shot down, bound, gagged and flogged until you manage to muster up the strength to murmur "Uncle". Things may or may not get better after that.

Windows 7 has officially ruined my life (cont'd)

The saga continues....

I took my computer back to BestBuy on Friday after work. I walk into the joint and a young man with a headset and a clipboard asked me how I was doing and what he could help me with. I took a deep breath and said "Okay, here's the deal..." I told him my plight. I thought that I was going to have to go into detail and discuss what exactly I'm trying to achieve and what audio latency is... I didn't have to do this.

Me: ... ... and Windows 7 has an inherent audio latency problem

Clippy: *nods* Yeeeaaahhh. It does.

Me: So you know about this?

Clippy: I had the same problem when I bought a new computer for trying to record music.

Me: I wish you sold me this computer. What did you do?

Clippy: Honestly, I brought it in to these guys [Geek Squad] and they fixed it for me.

Me: What do you think I should do?

Clippy: Buy a Mac?

Fuck you, Clippy. So I start talking about operating dual operating systems. He stops me and says that's way beyond his expertise and I should talk to one of the "agents". I'll have to wait because one of them is helping another customer. I take a seat at this bar and wait. I'm pretty optimistic that it's an easy fix. I don't know why... nothing has been easy so far.

While I'm waiting a guy makes eye contact from me from afar and starts heading over (if I had a drink in front of me, I would've thought I was getting picked up). He was wearing a "Windows Guru" shirt.

Guru: Have you been helped?

Me: I have. I'm just waiting for that guy there. But based on your shirt, I think you'll be able to help me.

Guru: Oh no. *takes a seat* What's going on?

Me: *explains problem*

Guru: Okay you have two options that come to mind. 1 - wipe hard-drive and install XP straight up. 2 - there's a "XP professional suite" program you can get that tricks your computer into thinking it has Windows XP installed, it just runs in the background, but when it's on, your computer runs just like it had XP on it. It's basically an application.

Me: How much?

Guru: I want to say $179?

Me: That's way more than I want to spend. In fact, I want to spend nothing because I just spent a bunch of money on this brand-new computer.

Then the Geek Squad guy comes over and the Guru bolted. For the third time I explained my problem, this time to the Geek. He said that I could wipe the hard-drive and put XP on it, but doesn't recommend that because there could be compatibility issues with my drivers for devices such as my sound card. Well, wouldn't that suck for my sound card to stop working altogether. Otherwise, dual operating system is the best bet and they charge $100 to do it. Which, again, is far more than I want to pay.

To get a restore disk, so I can re-install Windows 7 in case things go horribly, horribly wrong with XP costs $50. So pretty much my options are to spend a bunch more money just to make my brand new computer work, or else return it. Oh sure, I can exchange it, but any computer in their establishment comes with Windows 7 on it. So really I'll be in the same boat even if I switch it up.

I took it back to Brain Trepaning today and we went all over the internet searching for instructions on how to set up a dual operating system and trying everything we haven't tried before (and all the things we had already tried). We downloaded the latest drivers for everything. Windows 7 just won't allow it. It feels threatened by the older, wiser and more eXPerienced operating system.

My options as of right now are: to write a strongly worded letter to BestBuy and demand they pay the Geek Squad bill, or else; alternatively The Token Skeptic's husband is good at computers and he says he can install a secondary operating system. Despite her typical skepticism, she's confident in his abilities, so I can only hope there's some trick that he knows about.

Otherwise... *giant frowny face*

Windows 7 has officially ruined my life

My computer is on it's last legs and it has been for quite some time. I have been obsessively archiving for the past year and a half in fear that my computer would suddenly stop working and I would lose everything.

As discussed in a previous post, I've started recording music. My computer was getting to the point of ridiculousness when the sound of my fan turning on and off could be heard throughout my recordings. Not desirable. I decided it was time to buy a new computer. I wanted a laptop; it would be nice to be able to bring my computer to school and not be tied to my computer desk while recording.

So yesterday I went out and I bought a new laptop. I spent weeks researching and was confident that I did pretty well. I got it home, got it all set up... everything seemed to be working smoothly; new computer smoothly. I downloaded my audio program, plugged in my guitar and got ready to record.

But when I started recording there was this crazy delay. I'd hear what I was playing nearly a full second after I played it! I couldn't figure it out. But it clearly wasn't working the way I was used to. I spent hours fiddling with the audio program, the computer settings and surfing the internet for help.

But all I found were a lot of angry people using words like 'audio latency', 'drivers' and 'complete bullshit'. I didn't understand much of the technical mumbo-jumbo but I did piece together that 'audio latency = crazy delay I can't figure out = complete bullshit'. I admit that I whole heartedly agreed with them after having owned the computer for merely 3 hours.

I came to the conclusion that I could not figure this out on my own. I needed professional help, so I called my friend, Brain Trepaning; he routinely helps me with my computer and recording problems. He's my technology go-to guy. I brought it over to his place, he was stumped. We spent hours fiddling with the computer settings and surfing the internet for solutions... he was much more productive with the technical forums than I; he understood what the terms meant and tried what they were suggesting to do. But, still, no success.

We found a site that has a giant thread all about Windows' audio latency problem and as of Aug 6, 2010 (the date of the last post) there are no solutions for this problem. At all. This is a problem that is inherent to Windows 7 operating system and there's no way around it. Except wipe the hard drive and install Windows XP.

I just paid a bunch of money for this computer because it's all new and current and as state-of-the-art as I can afford. And it is physically incapable of doing the one thing that I want it to do! My baby, for all intents and purposes, is retarded. And even though I think it looks nice and has 'good qualities', it's blatant lack of capacity to function how I expect it to in my life severely diminishes it's value to me. Terms like 'totally useless' and 'waste of money' come to mind.

To top it off, this has been a problem since Vista. Vista. That was the last operating system... Windows 7 is supposed to be an upgrade, you know, fix all the bugs that cropped up in the last system (and invariably create new ones, but that's beside the point). They've known about the glitch for the past 3 years and have done nothing!

This is a new computer. I would expect this kind of problem from a computer I got at a yard sale for $10 and whose parts are no longer available because the technology is so old and out-of-date no one could possibly still want to purchase them. Nope, brand-new. Receipt is probably still crisp and everything.

If I wanted to continue living in the past and keep using XP (a 10 year old operating system), I'm fairly certain I could get a computer for half of what I paid and it would work two times better than this over-priced, over-qualified paperweight. I have had the computer for 30 hours.

Windows 7: You were not my idea.