I woke up the other day and suddenly realized that I’ll be 34 in a few months. Thirty-fricken-four. I don’t feel that grown up. I have a blog, for fuck sakes!
So I may have started having a “holy crap, I’m in my mid-30’s” crisis. I quickly decided that being where I am in life is an okay place to be. It was okay last week, what’s the difference now?
But then, strange things started happening. Things that can only mean that I am in fact getting old.
First, I got onto a pretty full bus the other day; since I was only going a few stops, I pulled up the nearest piece of pole and got comfy. Well, as comfy as you can be standing on a bus full of people. Then, it happened…
Girl: Would you like to sit down?ThatWhiteGirl: Um, no thanks, I’m good.Girl: Are you sure?!TWG: Totally.
Only old people get offered seats on the bus. And sometimes not even.
Next, I took a friend to get a facial on her birthday; she mentioned to the esthetician that it was the first facial for both of us. She eyed my crow’s feet suspiciously and said “really?”. As we were leaving, I said that it was so nice and that I should have started getting them sooner. Her raised eyebrows indicated that she was thinking the same thing but for very different reasons.
Then, I was chatting with a couple work folk and we were discussing a particular intersection; I mentioned that a gas station was on the corner. I was shot down pretty quickly; the other two were convinced there was no gas station. I was adamant that it was there and a Circle K store was attached to it. They didn’t even know what Circle K was.
This invoked a comment from one of my co-workers. “Were you buying your slurpees from there back in 1972?” Um. Thanks. Do I look old enough to be buying slurpees in 1972? My other co-worker informed him that I wasn’t even born yet. Thanks for having my back, Term.
Lastly, I was going through the drive-thru the other day and had this gem of a conversation with the cashier.
Cashier: $8:35, please.TWG: On debit, please.(we’re Canadian, leave us alone)Cashier: Does it have the tap function?TWG: Nooooo.(in a “I’m totally sure” kind of way)Cashier: Just thought I’d check, it makes it easier.TWG: I know! I saw it once and it was so fast. It’s pretty cool!Cashier: It is.TWG: I don’t even know how you get one…Cashier: Oh, it comes on newer debit cards.TWG: Really?? Cuz I just got this thing a little while ago.Cashier: Are you sure it doesn’t tap?TWG: Ummmm… I. Don’t. Know. (I spot an vaguely familiar icon on the card) Hey look, the thingy!!Cashier: Yeah, that’s probably where you tap it… Try it next time…TWG: Okay – thanks!!!
I stopped understanding technology and I was never very good at it in the first place. This is the beginning to the end, folks, beginning to the end.