Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Pop quiz, hot shot!

There are a couple pubs near my house. I’ve been known to walk into them once or twice. I may or may not know some of the bartenders/waitresses. They may or may not know me by name and/or drink of choice.

I like to think it’s because I’m memorable not because of my rate of attendance. It might be both.

Friday night, I left the salsa club and decided to stop in for a drink at one of the pubs. I was cutting it close, I knew they wouldn’t serve me past 1am and it was 12:55. I convinced myself that it was okay. The last time I was this close, I knew the bartender and he served me, albeit reluctantly, because “Oh. It’s you…”. If it was anyone else, he probably would have told them to screw off. But he didn’t; he served me. The other patrons found it amusing.

That White Girl - bar star - he doesn't want to but he will

So anyway, I walked in the place Friday night and didn’t see a familiar face behind the bar. Shit. I thought for sure that I wasn’t going to get served. Once I got her attention, I politely asked if I’d missed last call; she checked the clock and said “You got two minutes!”.  Success!

Two days later, I walked into place and once again didn’t see a familiar face behind the bar.

That White Girl - bar star - what is going on

He was a new guy… apparently this was his second shift. I guess that happens. Shortly after my arrival, my favourite bartender, Mikey, came in.

This bartender is the best. First of all, he’s cute as a button.  Seriously, I could just put him in my pocket and carry him around all day. But also, he’s just a really nice guy. A real genuine sweetheart.

One night, I started asking him questions to get to know him a bit. I don’t know why. I don’t normally do this; I’m usually perfectly satisfied with not knowing much about my bartenders, even though they know me. For some reason, that wasn’t good enough with this one. I asked him how long he’d worked there and if he had any other bartending jobs before this place. He told me that he worked at this other bar a-ways-out in CloverHole.

It’s the same bar that The Beanstalk worked at. Small world. I asked him if he knew Jack and explained how I knew him. Since I know Jack from Thailand’s bar, I haven’t seen him for awhile (and probably won’t for even longer), so I asked Mikey to say hi for me.

The next time I came in, I asked him if he’d seen Jack. He hadn’t. I wanted to make sure that he had the story straight (it’s not like Jack and I are such good friends that he would know exactly who Mikey was talking about if he gave my name). In order to make sure he had the story straight, I asked him three questions.

  1. What’s my name?
  2. Where do I know Jack from?
  3. What kind of dancing do I do?

If he had those pieces of information, Jack should know who I am.

Mikey got some of the questions wrong. Not acceptable. The next time I went in, I asked him another three questions.

  1. Who do we both know?
  2. What kind of dancing do I do?
  3. What’s my drink of choice?

Again, he got some wrong, so the next time I went in, I had to ask another three questions.

I didn’t realize what I had started. Problem is, after while, he started ace-ing the quiz; I had to get creative. Now, months after the fact, he has since stopped working with Jack, but I still keep on. 

That White Girl - bar star - quiz time

The first time I got creative, I asked him what his favourite colour is. He was shocked.

That White Girl - bar star - it's different this time

But he played along. Even when I asked him if he was old enough to drink in the States, he just laughed and said “I see what you did there! And yes I am!!” (He’s a baby face… no wonder I’ve got a soft spot for him). I appreciated it, even though I had a nagging thought…

That White Girl - bar star - obnoxious

But I keep on keeping on. But still… I often wonder what he thinks about quiz time.

This last time I was there (yes, it was a Sunday night), I informed him it was quiz time, he said he needed “three minutes”, he was training the new guy. It took much longer than three minutes. While I sat there trying to come up with my three questions, I couldn’t help but think he was delaying it because he hates it. I became self-conscious.

That White Girl - bar star - oh jeez self conscious

He came up to me and apologized for it taking so long. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. I asked him two questions. My third question was (taking a page from the book of JY):

TWG: On a scale of 1.5 to 7.3, how much do you hate quiz time?

M: On a scale of 1.5 to 7.3?!??!? *incredulous*

TWG: Yes. *not incredulous* 1.5 being that you love quiz time and look forward to it; 7.3 being that you hate quiz time and shudder when you see me walk in the door.

M: Oh… *laughs* Well… 1.5 of course!

That White Girl - bar star - really

I figured he was humoring me, but when I was leaving, I told him “good to see you again, see ya next time”.

That White Girl - bar star - one point five

I won’t. Aw shucks…


  1. You do tip him well, right? For quiz time, I would expect at least a 30% tip. It's probably not obnoxious, though. He probably appreciates someone treating him as something more than a booze jockey. Also, I'm really glad to hear you're within walking distance of said bars.

  2. That should be 1 dollar per question. I am sure he doesn't think you bother him, next time ask him about world problems and how to solve them....yes

  3. I'm with Pickleope. In my experience, most bartenders just like having someone to talk to that isn't either demanding drinks that don't exist or mindlessly trying to take them home with bad pick up lines.

  4. You should give him POINTS for every correct answer. Points that accumulate to SOMETHING.

    And way to do a random scale - JY would be proud.

  5. Pickleope - I do tip well, but probably not well enough.

    Pokey - maybe I will!

    Beer - mental note: do NOT start hitting on him. Thanks for the tip!

    Gorm - done!! He's currently at +20. :)


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