I know you guys find it hilarious when I recall my online dating stories. (see this, this, or this for a laugh). But I’m here to tell you that you won’t be hearing them for awhile. I’ve officially hidden my POF account, in other words, I’m not actively looking for blog fodder anymore. Well, from that avenue anyway. Here’s why.
There are many types of guys on the site, and a few of those types are ones that I have no interest in meeting and/or are in no way interested in meeting me:
1) Mr. Fit
Don’t get me wrong – I don’t want Mr. Opposite-of-This, but this guy is more likely to tell you how many times a week he works out, what high protein diet he is on or how much he can bench-press before he tells you what kind of music he likes. He also makes it very well known that he is only attracted to very fit, athletic women. “I take excellent care of myself and so should you”. Contrary to the pictures on here, I’m not a big blue ball of a woman, but I’m also not a size 2.
2) Mr. Angry
This guy spends his entire profile telling you what kind of girl he doesn’t want. Which is almost as important as knowing what you do want, but he does it so angrily that you’re left wondering what happened to him in his life to make him that way. “If you’re one of those bitches that just wants me for my money, keep walking!!!”. Okay… Well, I’m not one of those bitches, but I’m going to keep walking anyway. Thanks for coming out. (*Note – likely would have actually read: If your one of those…)
3) Mr. Needy
Need I say more? This is the guy I tend to meet, probably because he openly admits that he’s looking to meet someone for a relationship. It’s not always obvious that the term “a relationship” can be replaced by “my world to revolve around”.
4) Mr. Player
This profile has multiple bathroom mirror pictures with varying degrees of shirts-off, his listed interests include “hanging out, women and having fun”, his actual profile has “will fill this out later” copy and pasted however many times is necessary for POF to decide he has written enough about himself.
I think it’s pretty obvious that the internet dating game has jaded me once again. I think I have to go back to attempting to meet someone in real life. It’s more fun anyway. Also more likely to cause problems and/or make bad decisions, but that’s what life is about, right?? Right?
I think you are looking for a man in a green shirt. Those can be found in real life offline too! Or... maybe you have an irrational hatred for green shirts... I'm not sure!
ReplyDeleteAwwwww, no more bad dating stories? Well, after reading the types of guys you're meeting, I get it. The "This is my first mirror picture, I swear" made me laugh. Well, they all made me laugh. It's so sad that there's so many walking stereotypes of ass-bags out there. How do people, guys and girls included, go through life devoid of any self awareness?
ReplyDeleteThough you know I'm entertained by your mishaps, I do wish you nothing but luck in your love life.
As a fit guy, I'll never understand the flexing in front of the mirror thing. You would think that being in great shape would give you confidence, but nothing screams "I'm insecure, please validate me" like showing off every muscle fiber in a single kinda blurry cellphone picture.
ReplyDeleteYou know what always annoyed me? There's always a profile of a really, really ugly girl, and she looks like she could be Shrek's twin. She's 300 lbs, she smokes, doesn't take care of herself, is unemployed, etc. First thing her profile says: "I only date hot guys with 6 packs that are in great shape and make $100,000 a year+, so don't message me unless you're super hot and rich!"
Yeah, because guys that look like that who make $100,000 a year want to date girl-Shrek.
Well, me may still hear about some fit, angry, needy players from real life - just maybe from afar since they can't pre-advertise.
ReplyDeleteWe can have real-life dating stories, though, right?
ReplyDeleteThere's another kind of online dater too - Mr. Apathetic. They never get around to making profiles.
Haha I think I actually might have dated Mr. Needy AND Mr. Player within 3 weeks of eachother. I can see why you might feel jaded xx
ReplyDeleteAnna - hmmm... you might be onto something...
ReplyDeletePickleope - you never know... besides, I could very well still have those stories with people I meet in real life.
Beer - exactly! And she is probably Mrs. Angry. And Mrs. Unattractive. I left him out intentionally. Some things are just too easy!
Gorm - some of them are good at tricking you into thinking they're normal and BAM, stage 5 clinger... like my stalker. Who wished me a Merry Christmas. :|
Ash-Matic - yes, you sure can!
Scarlett - they're everywhere and hard to avoid.