I’d like to interrupt my Thailand post sequence with a little update on my online dating adventures.
I met him online several weeks ago. Let’s call him Vegas. He seemed like a nice, normal guy (all the good stories start out like this, don’t they?). Very soon after connecting with him online, he went away for a week in Vegas; we met for the first time upon his return. Very soon after our first meeting, I left for Thailand. We met for the second time after I got back.
The first date was pretty typical: met for coffee, went for a walk. Vegas was pretty easy to talk to, not unattractive and despite some very obvious differences, we had a few things in common.
After our first meeting, he texted constantly; even going so far as writing “Busy??? *sad face*” when I didn’t respond quickly enough. And then of course, the “I missed you”s that go along with a two-week hiatus from a girl you went out for coffee with once.
Like I said, we had some pretty obvious differences and he was always checking to see if I was okay with them. I found it strange, but thought that maybe he’d been involved with girls before where these things were deal breakers, so I told him they were things I was willing to look past/work through/be open to. All things considered I was trying to ignore this nagging thought.
Our second meeting took place one night after he got off work; he suggested we “chill and watch a movie”, being that I was still adjusting to this time zone, I told him I’d fall asleep immediately watching a movie and suggested meeting up at a restaurant. He said he was wearing his work coveralls and didn’t want to go into a restaurant. I asked what he suggested to do. He said he suggested watching a movie at my house. I said that wasn’t going to happen, blaming it on my house being a mess from my trip. Not a lie, but not the main reason either.
We ended up going for coffee, but Vegas quickly realized that he’d misplaced his bank card and since I didn’t want coffee at 11pm, I didn’t offer up to pay. Instead we drove around for a bit and went to a park and chatted.
Our third meeting was much of the same as the second; his suggestion of “chilling” at my place was shot down and my suggestion of going to an establishment was also shot down. We again drove to a park and chatted. This was the first time he kissed me. I hold a lot of weight with the first kiss, yet I try and convince myself it’s not a big deal when it doesn’t go well.
Note to guys: If you’re going in for an open-mouth kiss, do not start with an open-mouth. Especially the first kiss – different rules may apply if we’re currently having sex. The sequence should be: closed mouth, open mouth, tongue action, closed mouth. End of kiss. I don’t know what to do with open mouth approaching my face with a tongue hanging out. It’s awkward at best.
Since our meetings had been after one of us had gone on a trip, a lot of our conversations revolved around the trips and travelling in general. Vegas, as you can imagine, loved going to Vegas; he’d been there five times in the past year and a bit. I have never been, but did express an interest in going one day.
A couple days later, I get a text from him: So, I’ve been thinking… we should do a trip together.
Through some back and forth (all of my responses being very non-committal, but also lacking the “what the fuck is wrong with you??” question that was in my head) he decided that we would go to Vegas for a week in March and that we would hammer out dates the next time we saw each other. You know... On our fourth date. Because that’s what normal people do.
I put the brakes on so fast; I’m pretty sure each one of you heard it as I laid a patch of rubber as thick as a speed bump on the pavement.
We tried arranging our next meeting; the sequence went the same as the times before. I realized that he probably doesn’t get out much, since all he wants to do is “chill and relax”. I think he realized that I wasn’t going to let him in my house anytime soon because he got mad and said that he was too tired after work to go anywhere and that we’d “chill” after his inventory count this past weekend.
I didn’t hear from him all weekend, which was fine by me, since I was trying to think of ways of letting him down easy.
He texted me last night; after a bit of back and forth:
Vegas: Are. You still interstead in me
TWG: I haven’t quite decided… I get the feeling that we’re very different people and I’m not sure if we’re compatible, to be honest.
Vegas: Me too. I don’t think if sexually compitatble or not… I have super high sex drive
TWG: Good that we’re on the same page! (even though I was questioning how he knows if we’re sexually compatible or what my sex drive is like after 3 dates… but whatever)
Vegas: I don’t wanna. Waste my time
TWG: Fair enough!
You might be wondering what these differences were. Here’s the short list:
Vegas: Brown guy, lives with parents
TWG: White girl, lives alone
Vegas: Loves “all kinds of music”… except music with actual instruments in them
TWG: Dislikes “all kinds of music” that do not have actual instruments in them
Vegas: “Loves to dance”. But doesn’t do it. Ever.
TWG: Loves to dance. And goes dancing. All the time.
Vegas: Doesn’t drink