Sunday, July 29, 2012

Turns out there *is* a psycho bitch inside me

We’ve all heard it before… Women are crazy. And although I’ve met my fair share, I’ve also met my fair share of crazy men. Case. And point. Naturally, I thought the statement was an unfair stereotype. Until recently. I’ve since discovered that women are crazy. And I can be one of them.

It all started about 18 years ago when I was a hormonal teenager. I was crazy; flying off the handle for little to no reason, crying at the drop of a hat and in general, just being difficult to be around. A few years later, I went on birth control and stayed on it for nearly 10 years. Despite horror stories I’d heard about birth control, I never really experienced any side effects. During that period of being on the pill and the period of being off of it, I maintained a fairly even demeanor.

Fast forward to a month ago. I decided it would be best to go back on the pill, just in case. I went to my doctor and we discussed it. He gave me a script for the last pill I was on and said “Let’s see how it works for you this time… even though it worked for you in the past, doesn’t mean it’ll work for you now.” I had no idea what he was talking about.

It took me a week and a half to finally get it; I started losing it.

Something that would normally make me go “Oh that sucks” and bum me out a bit, now made me become a blubbering mass on my couch. The train of thought escalated to such a degree in my mind, that looking back, I have a hard time processing how I actually got there. But boy, oh, boy, did I get there.

heather - birth control - crying

This happened four times in less than a week. I was a wreck. Even at the time, I could look in on the situation from an outsider’s perspective and think “You’re acting crazy”, but there was nothing I could do about it.

Not only would I cry at the drop of a hat, I would also get seriously pissed off about things that would normally only irritate me slightly.

heather - birth control - angry

I truly thought I was losing my mind.

One day, as I was sitting on my couch having a pity party complete with tears and snot, I tried to think about the situation logically between sobs. “When did I start doing this? Why is this all such a big deal?”. I couldn’t figure out why I was suddenly a train wreck.

And then it hit me. I ran into the bathroom and grabbed my pill pack. I went psycho four days into taking the pill. Four days is probably just enough time for it to get into my system and start causing mayhem. I was so happy that I wasn’t crazy, that it was just the pills, that I spent the next two hours crying “because I was just so relieved”.

heather - birth control - not crazy

Doctors orders and internet research all yielded the same advice. It can take 2-3 cycles of being on the pill before you really know how your body is going to react. If after this time, you’re still experiencing side effects, you should switch brands and see how that one works for you.

I looked at this and thought I could potentially be a crazy bitch for the next 6 months to a year depending on how long it takes me to find something that works for me. My decision:heather - birth control - knocked up


  1. Lose them crazy pills Heather!

  2. Heeeeeey! It's just like being pregnant!

  3. Hey, condoms! A condom never made anyone depressed ... to my knowledge.

  4. ^ Condoms depress me. It's just not the same. :(

    Pills made my wife briefly crazy too. Like when we were cooking dinner and she started laughing, and then crying. Hard. For no reason at all. It's mostly gone away now... I hope.

  5. Yeah I tried everything, from four different types of pills, nuvaring, even an IUD. Now I'm back to the ole condom and not insane. Worth it.

  6. Anon - I have... they're dead to me!

    Anna - that's reassuring. :|

    Kellie - using them, just wanted a little added protection and maybe to ditch them eventually.

    Beer - it's not the same, but it's been so long without skin-on-skin, I don't remember what I'm missing! :( Glad your wife isn't crazy anymore!

    Chooplah - sometimes au naturale is best. IUD made you crazy??


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