Tuesday, June 26, 2012

How do you spell “relief”? Pee!

Some people seem to have a great memory of their childhood school years. I’m not one of those people. I can’t name every teacher I had and the corresponding grade I had them. I can’t tell you what grade I learned to write cursive, or when I decided Social Studies was for chumps.

But for most years of my schooling, there’s always something that sticks out in my mind; something that I will never forget. This story is about kindergarten. As good a place to start as any.

My kindergarten classroom seemed to have it’s own bathroom… or maybe one was just really close by (see… bad memory), but what I do know for sure was that there were signs on the door to say whether or not it was occupied.

door - enter

And with a quick flip!!

door - do not enter

These bathrooms weren’t your typical school bathrooms; they were like home bathrooms: one toilet, one sink. Main difference being the locks on the doors had been removed for safety reasons (they were dealing with kindergarteners after all); thus the signage.

Despite my upbringing, I’ve always been very mindful of providing people with bathroom privacy. You might be wondering what my upbringing consisted of in order to warrant that kind of comment. We were a one bathroom family. As such, if someone was in the shower and someone else needed to pee, you went on in, did your business and made necessary small talk so that it wasn’t awkward. Maybe that’s why I’ve always been mindful of giving people their bathroom privacy.

Because of that, I was way more likely to be standing in the hallway doing the pee dance in front an empty bathroom with a stop sign on the door than anyone else in my class. Others were way more likely to walk in on you because they had no respect for the sign. And then there was the girl that I’ll never forget for the rest of my life.

I have no idea what her name was, but I can remember her face like it was yesterday.

Every time I went to the bathroom, she’d walk in on me. I was always washing my hands when she did it, so it wasn’t a big deal. What was a big deal is how she dealt with the walking-ins. Most people would open the door, realize what they’ve done, apologize and back out (or freak out and slam the door shut). This girl would walk in, shut the door, drop her drawers and pull up a seat on the toilet, all the while grinning up at me while I stared at her in disbelief.

Asian girl peeing that white girl shocked

Every. Time.

The first time it happened, I thought maybe I forgot to switch the sign and that she really had to pee so when she saw that I was in there it didn’t matter, she had to go. But then I became really adamant about using the signs and still every time I started washing my hands, she’d waltz on in the door.

I started trying to pee really fast and take less time in the bathroom just so that she never “had to wait” outside while I was in there. And still, the second the tap was turned on, in she came.

I don’t know if I was the only one she did this to; I don’t know why she did it. But I’m fairly certain she’s the reason I ended up peeing my pants in class that year. But maybe that’s another story for another day.


  1. There's always one freak you remember from primary school. For me it was the creepy kid who'd come sit behind you during story time and put his hands down the back of your pants.

  2. I really think she was frightened of being alone. This reminds me of all the kids that couldn't wait to pee, so they made a mess while standing in formation. In kinder, we had scheduled bathroom trips. Of course, if we had to use the bathroom before or after, a teacher's assistant would take us, but there was always that one kid who just preferred to pee in line, as we prepared to go to the bathroom.

  3. That's weird. Really really weird. The girl walking in and dropping trow, not you having a bad memory (I don't remember a single teacher's name). As someone who is incredibly pee shy (TMI?) I can't imagine doing that. Did she start conversation too?

  4. Well, at least it was kindergarten, not high school! Now THAT would have been weird.

  5. i used to "absent-mindedly" walk into the kinder closet toilet usually about 2 minutes after i saw a cute girl walk in. Mind you, I was a teacher not a student, but regardless...

  6. Hah, she was obviously an exhibitionist! Why don't you find out what became of her? She might be a pole dancer now.

  7. Going by your illustration, I'm assuming you hit her in the mouth a few times for her intrusions...

  8. This brings back some memories. Our kindergarten had this too, and yes, that sign means nothing to a bunch of children who don't pay any attention to it. We'd get walked in on all the time, so much so that I'd always pee facing the toilet sideways, so that when someone inevitably busted in, they could only see my back and I wouldn't be flashing anyone.

  9. Kellie - wow... I did not have THAT kid in my class. I'm sorry.

    Nellie - I can't imagine there are people in this world that would prefer to pee in line. Makes for an uncomfortable rest of the day.

    Pickleope - no convo, just smiling and laughing. It was weird.

    Kianwi - not high school... but I didn't go to high school with her, so you never know if it continued.

    Terry - I hope for mankind's sake that you're joking. :|

    Gorilla - that may be true. I'd have to remember her name in order to find out that kind of information though. Damn my bad memory.

    Gorm - nope, we were in kindergarten. Some five year olds don't have all their teeth yet! :)

    Beer - that is a good technique! A little harder to execute as a girl though...

  10. Wow. That's kind of creepy. I'd love to know where she is now. Jail? Hollywood? Vegas?

  11. Thank Q - it really was... who knows... all three, perhaps??

  12. I changed my mind, this is my favorite post.


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