Thursday, April 26, 2012

Mexico 2.2

Monday was the day I spent a lot of time at the pool and at the beach. As a result, I got way too much sun and burned the shit out of my back. So Monday night, I wasn’t feeling all that well (and not due to alcohol, for once) so I called it a night after the show. I woke up Tuesday feeling rejuvenated, albeit, really sore because of my burn. I was forced to sport tees instead of tanks until my back was a little less angry with life.

I spent the morning walking into town. The village is supposed to be about 1km away. Normally, I can walk a kilometre in about 10 minutes; between the heat and the fact that I was strolling along really casually, I found myself walking for about 20 minutes and still hadn’t hit the town centre. And I was feeling the effects of the sun.

I stopped in at a little café and ordered a tea, a bottle of water and some baked goods. For a brief second, I worried about whether or not I brought enough money. The cashier asked me for 47pesos (roughly $4). I guess my worry was not warranted.

I spent 15 minutes or so, cooling off and preparing myself for the outside again. I started walking, but about five minutes down the road I still hadn’t found the town and was feeling the effects of the sun… again. I’m not exactly equipped with the pigmentation necessary for survival in hot climates. I decided to call it a day and head back; I walked down the beach back to my resort.

I brought my new fancy camera on this outing and found a lot of really cool old buildings and nice properties to take pictures of, but when I pulled out my camera and tried turning it on, it didn’t work. I worried that I broke it at some point and then realized that I charged the battery the night before. And left it in my hotel room. I didn’t bring my small camera, so missed out on a lot of photo opportunities.

On my walk down the beach I came across two couples just staring into the water. Naturally, I sidled up next to them to check out what they were checking out. It was a water snake, right by the shore; it looked like he was trying to bury himself in sand, but his progress was hampered by the relentless waves.

I cursed myself for not having a camera, again, and started walking back down the beach. One of the guys rushed to catch up to me, once he was by my side, he asked “So… where in Michigan are you from?”

heather - michigan

“I’m not from Michigan…”, he asked where I was from; I told him, then he said “Oh… well… … it’s a cool hat anyway”. Riiigghhht. The “M” doesn’t actually stand for “Mexico”. *face palm*

That night, I went to the show with a mother-daughter duo. Mom was plowed almost every time I saw her on the resort and Daughter was known as “Plastic Girl” by everyone. She was the fakest thing I’ve ever seen: bleach blonde hair, fake eyelashes, fake boobs, fake nails, too tan and abnormally large lips.

Nice girl, but she was such a spectacle that all the little Mexican kids were gathering around and asking for pictures with her. They had never seen such a thing and I hadn’t either. She was also very proud of it all; she fully admitted to having a boob job, botox and lip injections done pretty much anytime it came up in conversation. To each their own.

After the show, I went to the disco, one of the dancers from the show was there. I think he’s so beyond sexy; he’s probably half the reason I went back to the same place. Anyway, I danced up a storm… and then went home… I guess. I don’t quite remember. I’ve come to the conclusion that tequila creates gaps in my memory. I should definitely stay away from that stuff in the future.


  1. Tequila is a like a time machine, you start drinking and, boom, you're instantly transported about 8 hours into the future into a bathroom somewhere you're not familiar with.
    And I may be wrong, but Michigan dude was probably hitting on you, no?
    Plastic people are so interesting. The psychology of it anyway. It makes me want to poke their lips to see what it's like.

  2. Go Michigan hat, ya baby!!!!!!!

  3. I did well with tequila and noting else. Vodka and I were not friends at all. Every time I see vodka, I want to kick its butt the way it kicked mine.

  4. I suppose that hat could also be used so we don't mistake you for your brother, Luigi.

  5. but tequilla creates such great stories!

  6. I just love that the plastic girl probably thought she was being adored by the locals, while the Mexicans were like, "Wow, I've never seen a monster this hideous! Take my picture with it?"

  7. I loled at the Michigan hat part

  8. Pickle - I dont' know if he was or not... maybe?! Plastic people are weird... they don't look right.

    Dave - I knew you'd like that! :)

    Nellie - different strokes for different folks. Me and vodka get along swimmingly.

    Gorm - wrong colour!!

    Paige - only if you remember them! :)

    Beer - I'm sure she did... or maybe it was just for publicity. She's probably someone that's concerned about publicity.

    Adam - I felt like an idiot, but I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)


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