Saturday, July 3, 2010

Revenge is best served with asparagus. It also makes your pee taste funny.

I mentioned a couple posts ago that I have four readers that I know of... I could probably think of a fifth, but I don't know if he actually reads my blog, so I like to say four, just to be safe. In either case, I can definitely say with certainty that I can count all my readers on one hand. Pretty impressive.

All that aside, I was looking at my web-stats the other day and there were a few days in the last month where I had 6, 7, 8 views in one day! 8 views? Wow! The way I see it there are two options... Either every single one of you is reading the same post twice in one day, or else there may be more than four people reading.

To be honest, I find it really hard to believe that you four will all read the same post twice in one day (not just re-reading it, but actually logging back on to the internet so that the web-stat-thinga-ma-jig sees it as a new visit). If that is how the internet works...

But I find it even harder to believe that there are 4 other people in this world that read my blog. Even if it was just those 3 days, people other than you read it... I mean, where did you come from? What on Earth did you google to find me?

I just tried googling myself... Would you believe that "Are you honourable" shows up #4 on google?


I was surprised. I continued googling myself and discovered you have to write VERY specific sentences in order for me to show up. This may be the only instance where using random, out of context sentences as my titles will come in handy - example: #1 ranking below.

battery pack

But "My apple tastes like parsley" isn't even on the first page? How does that work? In fact, I looked through 5 pages and nada. And even this one (which I think is pretty unique) doesn't yield the same #1 results.

hip out

My favorite is the porn video that showed up before my post (if my page was even there).

What I'm driving at here is: I find it highly unlikely that people are finding me on the web. So my question to you, all eight readers, is this: are there actually eight of you? If so, do I know you? You didn't actually find me through the internet, did you? If so, how? If not, how?


  1. OR maybe we are all SO excited for your next post that we check back multiple times per day! Hmmm.. unlikely :D

    Nice title by the way!

  2. I can totally believe that "knock a hip out" would yield porn before your page.

    I get you MUCH higher is result searches (2nd for "knock a hip out" and first for many others) if you put quotations around the phrase...

  3. But I think that's cheating because normal people don't use quotations in searches! ;)

  4. Yeah, unlikely... that's what I think too... :D

    Jon came up to me and said "I hear you want something random..." and then he told me about your conversation... and I thought... hey - I could use that! :P

  5. I once showed a post to a person so I had to log in twice for that. Maybe I even showed some posts to Dany so I had to check in a second time. One day when I'm not lazy I may post a link to a link sharing site like Reddit and then you can see what happens to your usage! :D

  6. I might hit double digits!!! :)

  7. you are learning the ways of the SEO.... Be wary, 'tis a dangerous road you venture upon...

  8. I mean, I'll guess it doesn't make my pee taste funny... :O

  9. BTW, asparagus does not make my pee taste funny.

  10. Oh dear... it took me a couple seconds, but I didn't even have to google it to know it stands for Search Engine Optimization....



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