Sunday, July 11, 2010

Fish: They're basically swimming carrots

There once was a scientist who decided it would be a good idea to cut a gene out of one organism and splice it into the DNA of another. This is now known as genetically modifying, genetically engineering or sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong.

Regardless, this technology is being used in an attempt to create an organism that is far superior than it's natural-born counterparts. These superior beings include:

  • pigs that have omega-3 fatty acids (instead of that pesky pork fat Emeril was always ranting about)


  • rice with high beta-carotene content (when going orange from eating too many carrots isn't enough)

  • corn that contains it's own pesticides (because spraying pesticides is just gross) and....


  • tomatoes that go ripe without going mushy... ... (you gotta admit, no one likes a mushy tomato)

The development of these superior foods has always been conducted in a lab under controlled conditions (and please note, nothing uncontrolled has ever occurred in a lab). However, since the dawn of the higher corn, scientists have worried about the corn "getting out" and making it's way into the world where it will run into other, less pest-resistant corn. Nothing good can come of this. Which is why scientists have kept the corn in special isolation crops and limited their TV and internet time so they never laid eyes on, or had any knowledge of, this lesser corn.

This tactic has worked for 20 years, the corn never the wiser. Until now....


To be continued...


  1. Okay I did a search for "They’re basically swimming carrots" on the search engine called "Google" and this post did not show up. Let's get together soon and I will show you the tricks to top placement and you will defeat Google's algorithingie. For top placement, remember, it's (wo)man vs.math, and I stole the answer key...

  2. Is that the image you "shopped" with paint? :D

    Good stuff. I'm scared of it.

  3. Yay! Scary Corn!! :P

    Watch out... it's based on a true story! :O

  4. Yep, yep... not too shabby eh?

    Yay! Scary Corn! :P

  5. I love answer keys! Yes, yes we will... I can cook dinner and you can work your hocus pocus! I'm not in school right now, so am free during the week! Except Wednesdays...


    Scroll down to the picture of grain and click it (under the heading of "near future")

  7. Thanks Guy! Interesting read... especially since that article was written 8 years ago... I wonder how much longer until we reach the Grain Age.


Wanna brighten That White Girl's day? Leave a comment - they make me happy!