I bent my wookie

I was playing the guitar the other day. I had just learned a new song, so I was OCD-ing pretty bad. Something which I haven't done in awhile because 1) I haven't been playing guitar much and 2) I haven't been learning any new songs. The two may or may not be connected. Anyway, it's easy to imagine that I was quite focused on what I was doing.

 

All of a sudden I heard this noise; it was loud and it was a voice.

It was so loud I didn't even know what it was saying. It really freaked me out. I abruptly stopped playing guitar and looked over my shoulder towards the noise with pure terror on my face.

My heart was pounding; I was sure I was going to see some monster bursting through my wall, coming to get me.

And then I saw it. A pop-up notification that my anti-virus software had an update. This particular software includes voice-notification in addition to the temporary pop up message. I had been listening to music through my computer earlier that evening and every volume knob was cranked to the max. Thus, when the nice lady told me that I should download an update, I nearly crapped myself. All I could do was laugh while I waited for the palpitations to subside.

 

Big thanks to EliseArt for providing illustrations!

How I met my friend

I had the best dog in the whole wide world. Yeah, sure, everyone says that, but for me, it's actually true. His name was Sabastian and he was awesome.



Just look at him!! Who couldn't love that dog?! He was a 100+lb rottweiller/german shepard cross. He was big, but also a big sweetheart. I loved him and he loved me. I had him for about 10 years before I had to put him down, and those were some damn good years we had together.

I, literally, have hundreds of stories I could tell about him and my blog won't be complete unless I tell at least one, but I'm having a really hard time narrowing down a really good, really representative story about Sab. I guess I could start off by how I got him. (And I'll write the really good, really representative post another day).

I got him when he was just over a year old, but I'd known him for about 6 months by that time. I met Sab through a punk-ass kid that ended up being a friend of mine. Oh, high school, how I miss you. I met this kid, (who actually went by the name of Flea) through a friend of my brother. My brother's friend, ended up letting Flea move in with him and this is when I met Sab.

Flea, didn't work; he was on welfare and made getting drunk and high a priority over feeding his dog. Me and K would buy Sab food, because he was starving to death. Literally. We took him to the vet at one point and he weighed in at 44lbs. (His healthy Post-Flea weight was 98-105lbs, but he chunked up to a whopping 115lbs at one point).

I would beg Flea to give me his dog, I was even willing to pay for him... how much do you want for him? $100? $200? $300? How much for your dog??? But he wouldn't budge. He "loved" Sab and wouldn't get rid of him. Some stuff happened and Flea ended up having to move back home and wasn't able to take Sab with him. I jumped on it: I'll take him!

The deal ended up being that he would stay with me for one month, after that, Flea would get him fixed and he would take him back. I knew this would never happen, so I agreed.

Two months later, I saw Flea and he said to me "I can't afford to get him fixed. So, I guess he's your dog now" and I said "Dude, he was my dog a month ago".

And that's how I met my best friend, and how our 10 year friendship started. (miss you Bubby!)

I'll write an actual post about him shortly, complete with pictures (fair warning, EliseArt!). I just had to get this one up... you know, because of obligations (thanks, Gorm!).

Techmology: Death to Society

I think technology is killing us. Yeah, sure, global warming, blah, blah, blah. But what I'm referring to is us as a society, not just a species. I think with advent of technology, and the extent to which we choose to use it, is causing serious problems with our social skills. We have none.

We don't know how to interact with people anymore. I've heard stories (which I promptly chose to ignore and label as 'not true') where two people go out on a date, with their laptops/phones, and instant message/text each other throughout the entire 'date'. Barely speaking to each other. That's just not right.

We no longer live in the now. I'm sure we've all had this happen. You're out with friends, and someone spends the whole night with their face in their phone. Now, I understand, sometimes you have to answer things, regardless of where you are or who you're with. But really? Why are you with friends, ignoring their conversations, having a whole other conversation with another friend that isn't even there?!

I was at a concert a couple weeks back. The show was epic The Arcade Fire were absolutely amazing. I spent most of the night picking my jaw up off the floor. At one point, I look down and the guy beside me is sitting down texting. He didn't even appear to be listening to the music. I wondered if, to him, it was just like when he's at home listening to the album. Why spend the money if you're not going to watch the show? I really just hoped that he was at least texting about the concert and it wasn't a conversation about his father's boat.

We should not experience life through a camera lens. We all have seen that person at a concert, or sporting event that spends the entire time taking pictures/videos. I always wonder how much they actually see or appreciate the event when they're looking at it through a 4 sq. in. screen. (I'm all imperial and stuff, weird). I'm particularly baffled when it's an event relating to nature, like when you climb up a mountain and look out at the view. You just can't appreciate it through a camera lens. I look at the pictures I've taken of these sorts of things and I always think to myself "The picture does not do it justice".

I honestly think that we, as a society, would make serious improvements to all aspects of our lives, if we just put the technology down. Don't spend the entire night on facebook or texting when you're with people and don't view the world through a lens. Live in the here and now. Be there for your friends and family. And appreciate the world around you. And remember, even though you have your head up your ass in your phone, life is still going on without you.

 

Big thanks to EliseArt for providing the illustrations. It's good to have you back! :)

Never interrupt me in the middle of a Star Wars musical!!!!!!!

Alright folks - it's 2% time! If you don't know what I'm talking about, go here or here.

A couple of years ago, a couple of weeks before Christmas, I got really sick with the worst flu ever. Once I recovered and started eating and drinking again, there were some... symptoms.

My pee was funny; it smelled weird and looked weird. I attributed it to the fact that I hadn't peed in four days because I was so damn dehydrated. I figured if I flushed my system, it would go away; a couple of days of drinking water and it did.

A couple of weeks later, I went over to my aunt's house for Christmas dinner. It was a particularly snowy year; K picked me up in her AWD vehicle, so I didn't have to drive my car. We also dug my car out because it was buried deep.

After dinner, we went for a walk in a park through the snow. I started getting this strong abdominal pain; the pleasant walk became a death march for me.

I slept over at K's house; the pain persisted through the night, but when I woke up, it was gone. That night for dinner, we had... you guessed it, leftovers. Yum!

Shortly after dinner, I developed the same abdominal pain.

I was certain it was indigestion; we attributed it to the stuffing: Uncle Barrence uses roughly 20x more poultry seasoning than most people. I was convinced I was simply experiencing a sage overdose.

Again, the following morning I woke up and the abdominal pain was gone. I went home; that night, I noticed the same change in urine. I thought I might have a bladder infection and I would see a doctor the following day.

I next morning, I woke up sick. Really sick. Really, really sick. I felt terrible. I had a lot of pain and needed a doctor fast. I went out to my car and it wouldn't start. This car has always started for me; I was crushed.

I called a taxi and one didn't show up for 45 minutes and then when he did show up he went in the opposite direction of where I told him to go. Fortunately, there was walk in doctor in that direction. Unfortunately, that walk in doctor was closed.

I walked to the Safeway so I could use one of those free taxi phones because I didn't know the phone number by heart. An hour and a half after calling first the taxi, I finally got to a doctor.

The receptionist asked me why I was there. I told her I thought I had a bladder infection. Here, pee in this cup. I did and then I waited for the doctor. He came in and told me that my urinalysis came back negative and asked why I thought I had a bladder infection. I told him about the pain, the changes in urine and said I felt terrible. What kind of terrible? I'm nauseous, I'm lethargic and my back hurts. Your back hurts? Yes. Where? I showed him.

He started hitting me in the back: Does this hurt? YES! He started looking at the chart again. I looked at him questioningly. He said he just wanted to review the urinalysis again. But, no, there were no signs of infection. I was sitting there feeling miserable, wondering why he was wasting my time going over test results that he already said were negative. Either they're negative or they're not - get on with it!

Doctor: This is odd. You have no sign of a bladder, or urinary tract infection, but I think you have a kidney infection. It makes no sense; in order to get a kidney infection you have to have a UTI and you have to let it go untreated for weeks before it'll move up to your kidneys.

Me: Maybe... I got the bladder infection weeks ago... after I got sick... and it moved up and now it's in my kidneys???

Doctor: The infection would still be in your bladder, it would be throughout your entire urinary tract. Your urinalysis would be positive, really positive; the infection should be rampant. *shakes his head* Bizarre.... Almost no one gets a kidney infection without having a UTI first.

Almost no one? Like maybe 2% of the population? Sounds about right.

I'm a medical marvel.

Big thanks to my special guest animators: JArt and JCart for providing the illustrations.