Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Adventures in Internet Dating–part 4

Just because I know you guys love these so much… here’s another installment of That White Girl’s adventures in internet dating.

Even though my POF account is currently hidden so I don’t show up in the general populations’ searches, I will go on and browse profiles.

There was one guy I found that had far too many muscles for his own good. On his profile it said: ******* NO CEREAL DATERS!!!! *******

The number of asterisk's may or may not be exaggerated. It took every willpower bone in my body (I have like six) not to send him this asking what exactly was wrong with being a cereal dater.

That WhiteGirl - internet dating - cereal dater

I do believe Cap’n Crunch is a good man; better than most, even.

Then there’s this other guy; his profile picture was him hugging an acoustic guitar, his profile said he sang/played rock and he had a link to SoundCloud that contained only metal songs without any lyrics.

I found him to be contradicting and I thought that was a good icebreaker so I basically sent that to him in an email, giving him a bit of a hard time because he said he sang but all his pieces were instrumental. Here’s how our conversation went down.

Douchebag: Singing isn’t easy and my voice isn’t there yet. You do know that was entirely me playing guitar bass and drums, right? I wrote the song too. I have over 50 songs, of all genres. Check out my SoundCloud now – I put other songs up!

That White Girl - Internet Dating - validation sucks

I went back to his SoundCloud and there were a bunch of new songs posted. Genre of all songs: metal (without lyrics) or metal hiphop (rap over heavy metal). Very diverse.

TWG: Singing isn’t easy but makes playing that much more fun (for me at least). I like the song “Acoustic”; nice guitar piece.

DB: So you like classical guitar? Yuck. I made that song to mock my old music teacher. Playing chords and singing some oldie is easy. Try playing something off beat, that has many changes in sound and beat and singing something.

That White Girl - Internet Dating - far superior - high horse

TWG: Not necessarily classical guitar, but I’ll play an acoustic over an electric any day. I prefer the organic sound and not having to fiddle with dials and knobs.

DB: You do know the vast majority of acoustic guitars made today are acoustic electric, right?

That White Girl - Internet Dating - casio grand piano same thing

TWG: Putting a transducer into an acoustic guitar doesn’t make it an electric guitar. Even when you plug it in, it’s still an acoustic, it’s just amplified. You do realize you’d get the same effect from a microphone, right??

He totally got under my skin for some reason but I never heard from him again so it all worked out.

Onwards and upwards, right, folks?


  1. I can completely understand that getting under your skin. That guy was such a self-righteous self-congratulatory douche. I'm surprised he could read while phelating himself. But you're totally right, I do love these stories.

  2. HA! The high horse makes a comeback!

  3. "I listened to that band no one had heard about before they were cool"

  4. "Singing is hard, so I don't try."

    I wonder which is worse, that or the guy who CAN sing, so he just sings every chance he gets in an effort to impress people?

  5. Pickleope - glad you enjoyed it!

    Brian - you're only saying that because you're a drummer. And yes, musicians are cads.

    EliseArt - I KNEW you'd appreciate it!!

    Gorm - you're such a hipster. :)

    BeerBoys - not sure. Both suck.

  6. I prefer Paleo Daters to Cereal Daters myself.

  7. Roy - is that where you get bashed on the head and wake up not remembering your name? If so, I think I'll take my chances with Cap'n. :)


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