Monday, June 20, 2011

There were boats!

I have a few recent driving stories that I would like to share. Mostly because they're so ramdon that they will likely never come up in conversation. 

The first one occurred roughly 10 days ago. It was a Friday - I left work early to go out to the passport office to hand in my application. After battling rush hour traffic (twice) and the passport office, I was having a pretty good time as I was making my way back to work.  At one point the one lane road opened up to two lanes, I got into the new lane and stopped at the red light beside the truck I was just behind. I saw something move out of the corner of my eye, it was the passenger in the truck rolling his window down. I looked over, he looked at me and said "You wanna race?", I laughed and said "Yeah, let's do this!" I eyed his truck (a truck that has an engine the size of my car) and said "I have a feeling you might have a bit more power than I do". He smiled and said "Maybe" with a wink.

The light went green and we were off. I accelerated slowly because I didn't actually want to race someone through a park zone in the middle of the day. Even with the slow start, I was a considerable distance ahead of them.  The next block was another red light. They pulled up beside me and the guy said "We weren't ready. Let's try again". I said "Okay, ready, one, two, three" and we were off again because the light had gone green at some point during my countdown. Again, slow start; I was ahead of them, but not by much.  As I'm chuckling at our pathetic excuse for a street race I see traffic ahead and realize that the lane I'm in is backed up for the next two blocks and the lane they're in is totally clear. I couldn't help but laugh when I had to gun it  so I could cut in front of them and avoid traffic. I was happy they were laughing too.

The next incident isn't quite as wow-that-made-my-day as the last. This one happened 2 days ago; I was driving through a parking lot. A car on my left put its reverse lights on just as the front of my car was behind them. By the time my driver's door got behind them, they had almost backed out right into me. It was close. I wasn't able to swerve or go faster because there was a lot of other things going on in front and to the right of me. I could only hope they would stop. They did. I breathed a sigh of relief and continued on my way. A couple of store-lengths later, I'd reached my destination and parked. As I did so, the car that almost hit me was driving past. The driver looked angry, fingered me emphatically and told me to learn how to drive. I was flabbergasted. He was the one that almost backed up into me. What the hell did I do? (Other than have the right of way). I fingered him back, told him to fuck off and went and bought samosas.

Today I was driving home and the hill up to my place was flooded with skateboarders. I see one without a board walking weird; at first I thought it was cuz he was wearing kneepads but then he started sporadically clapping. I was confused. But then it dawned on me... oh... he hurt himself. As I get to the top of the hill he  just came down, two of his buddies were at the top, presumably waiting for their turn. Just as I'm pulling up to the intersection, one of them turned to the other and said something about "that shit really looks like it fucking hurt".  The kid who said it sheepishly made eye contact with me as I stopped at the 4way stop. I don't know if it's cuz I'm a girl, or because I'm old, but he was clearly ashamed of having made the comment. His friend said "How about you wait for cars to pass before you say shit like that", just as I'm clearing the intersection. I burst out laughing and the boys turned around smiling.

And I just remembered another one... I was driving past one of those chipper trucks... you know the landscaping trucks that tow around a chipper? Just as I'm approaching the truck one of the landscapers was on the driver's side making sure everything was secure; he went around the back to check on the passenger side and also get out of my way. As I'm approaching the truck, he's at the back, walking towards the other side.Suddenly, he stopped and turned towards me; at the last second crouched down and did this big "Ta-DA!" production complete with jazz hands and then stood back up and went to go check the other side of the truck. I burst out laughing because it was so unexpected and looked fricken hilarious. A second later, I see him peeking out from behind his truck with a giant smile on his face. I'm not sure which one of us made the others day more.


  1. This stuff happens in real life?? I need to start paying less attention to the road and take a look around once in awhile.

  2. That's not always advisable. I also get into car accidents! :P


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